Experiencing Wholeness

I feel like I am moving in two directions at once.  How can I return to a sense of wholeness?

I often experience myself divided, wanting to go in two directions at once. In Zen, this is a common opportunity to come more fully into a state of wholeness, into the experience of ourselves as Integrated Beings.

Working with Genpo Roshi I learned about how we can embody various aspects of the mind and speak from them. We worked archetypically, with the voice of “the controller,” “the protector,” and “the wounded child.” After exploration of the full range of my mind, we went on to explore various aspects of what he called “non-dual awareness.” After applying his tools to a state of complete despair I found myself in, I went from absolute resistance to absolute acceptance… in the span of a moment. Bursting into laughter I walked away from a codependent relationship with resolve and understanding in my heart. This felt like a unification of my being-ness. Also, I remember the culmination of his practice, which I have worked with many times, he calls forth the voice of the Free Functioning, fully Integrated Self. I remember working with this voice… also one of the most integrated experiences I can remember.

2 thoughts on “Experiencing Wholeness

  1. Hello,
    So glad i have found your blog. It looks like you are able to shift your awareness and integrate with other awareness

    How do i realize the integration of beings? Can you please recommend anything /literature or writers/ that led you there? Is it practicing total and complete acceptance? Total surrender? To what? A thought? Love?

    Thank you my friend for sharing your experience ..
    Love, zeljka

    1. Zeljka,

      Please share more about what you would like to experience! I would love to offer a reply that might be useful to others as well.

      In view, I aim to move from a place of wholeness as an act of being (already, always here) AND from a place of wholeness as an act of becoming (a movement from being intrinsically a composite of parts to an integrated whole)…

      I imagine I cannot provide the answer that you seek, but feel inspired to share the journey.

      For integrating worldviews I go to ken wilbers work – Check out Integral Spirituality
      For integrating the psyche, I do shadow work and gestalt. Big Mind for Zen/Gestalt is a favorite method. The Tibetan “feeding your demons” process is a favorite shadow work process.

      My aspiration regarding surrender is to the reality, or actuality, or the unarguable, or mystery, or undefineable, unqualifiable textures of being. I aim to attune to this through cultivating intimacy with the moment, open hearted inquiry and navigating what arises by welcoming it.

      “that which I flee from pursues me, that which I embrace transforms me” Jennifer Welwood

      Its an honor to share, please let me know what other questions you may have.

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