Coaching Depression

How do you coach depression?  This excerpt from the Co-active Coaching Network discussion aims at this question.  Enjoy.

“So I asked what makes her feel alive and grounded. Her answer was that she didn’t want to deal with depression. I asked her if she could think of it in a positive perspective, in the past what has brought her joy.”

My main suggestion is to practice being with her. Imagine what it might be like to be in her shoes… project, and then see if your projections land for her.

Deeper yet I would suggest that you can feel into what its like to be with her, disclose that to her, and see if she feels the same way.

If you use projection – OWN IT, and always see how it lands… if it does not, let it go.

Try aiming for full presence with the client, staying curious about what its like to be her, and ask her about that…

If she doesn\’t want to deal with her depression, that may indicate that she is resisting that she feels depressed. Moving from that resistance is doomed to futility, because resistance does not bring lasting change, rather actions flowing from resistance fix us to them…

\”That which I flee from pursues me, that which I embrace transforms me\”

So, while it occurs to me that the very practice of releasing resistance would be the most direct path towards transformation, to guide her in that direction may not be supportive of her intrinsic brilliance, her self-governing and self-orienting process, and her capacity to blossom organically.

Thus, from there, avoid asking for a more positive perspective from the past… stay present, and explore what its like to be in her shoes… invite her to describe it… when she goes into complaining, invite her to describe what thats like… to the extent that she stays present with the experience of resisting, and explores what that is like, she will blossom through it…

to the extent that she is supported in being where she is at, she will organically blossom.

if you want coaching on this type of approach, I can guide you to a local coach who is training me, or I can make myself available.

but TRY it!! Presence, curiosity, own your projections, reveal them, see if they land, and watch what happens.

Please update us as a community if you go for this…

And thank you for sharing your process

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Jonathan Haber B.A. CMT

coach, facilitator, relational warrior, transformative education architect


Resources for Embodied Transformative Inquiry

Video invitation into uThrive Coaching Method

Guided practices, guided inquiry via video

12 month course on Intersubjective Transformative Inquiry

Resources for Coaches, Faciliators, Counselors and Aspiring Relational Warriors

via Main Community – Epic failure in coaching.


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