Article 1 of the Conscious Coaching Series
Invoking Grace in Ones Personal Unfoldment
- Why would you be interested in this content?
- A process of self discovery
- Trauma as a doorway
- 4 Key Principles for a Conscious Coaching Approach
- Follow up
Welcome. This document is dedicated to the unfoldment and evolution of every persons abilities to call forth what they most deeply yearn for in this life. To the experience of freedom… aliveness… and connection. In your reading of the content here, I invite your curiosity, openness, and sense of wonder. Rather then believing anything you read, I ask you to allow it to spark your curiosity, and to allow your curiosity to spark action of some form. Ask yourself how you can use these thoughts and perspectives in your practice. Ask how you can learn more about the aspects of what you read that peak your interest. Welcome.
Why would you be interested in this content?
The words and perspectives here point to the possibility that calling forth what we most deeply are wanting can be effortless. This type of coaching looks from the inside out, assessing what is in between ones full alignment with what they bring to the table, and asking what can be cleared internally in order to spark the state of mind that supports an effortless unfoldment. As in the practice of aikido, this is about learning to first move with the flow of life, and from that place, to direct it.
When our clients are interested in something new in their lives, we have an opportunity to witness their unfoldment. We ask what it would take to move towards this experience that the client seems ready to call forth. We ask what stands in the way. Often, through coaching experience, we learn that there are memories that are associated with whatever stands in the way of the experience our clients seem ready for. This is an outline of some perspectives that may be new to you. I have found them helpful in developing my skill as a coach and as a counselor. The perspectives are offered in a “coach training” format. I hope they are useful to you.
A process of self discovery
As coaches, we can facilitate our clients process of discovery in many different ways. Here is a guided process that might be beneficial. The first step is to find out whether the client is truly ready to love and accept themselves. Ask them to create a statement, phrased in the present, that affirms that they are allowing themselves to have this experience. One example is “I easily allow myself to experience love and acceptance for who I am today.
- Guide them to place their attention inward, to center and breath a bit, and then to make this statement.
- Guide them to notice what comes up and speak to it.
When the client is not able to authentically claim their readiness, then moving forward with the clearing is far less likely to be fruitful. Rather, the spotlight needs to shift to their readiness.
- What will it take to get their full buy in?
- What are the opportunities here?
- Do we need to accept what is in order to move forward with courage, strength, and insight at our side?
These topics will be covered in future, more extensive trainings… what you need to know right now is that it is essential that your client buy in, authentically, to the direction that you are moving in. If they are not ready, support them in owning that they are choosing to continue on the path they are headed in.
Personal responsibility and radical honesty with self brings awareness to what is most real in this situation, and will get the gears turning. Awareness heals.
When your client makes the affirmation and sits in silence, receptive and aware of their inner domain, and they notice images and memories come up, this can be seen as a doorway into greater freedom and release. If they are interested in diving down the rabbit hole and doing some clearing and releasing, here are a couple of tools.
Trauma as a doorway
Earlier memories often emerge as when we affirm something in the way that is described above. Essentially, what we are doing is asking someone to conjure forth whatever is in the way of stepping into something new. The seed has been planted through the creation of the statement, now it is time to weed the garden.
What do we risk by allowing these weeds to continue to grow? Just like in our garden, these weeds will have invasive root structures that inhibit the emergence of the new. In order to cultivate something new, we need to work the soil.
4 Key Principles for a Conscious Coaching Approach
What are our options for weeding the garden of our mind and spirit in the creation of a new experience?
1) Understand that believing our thoughts about anything, including our self image, our capabilities, etc. is buying into thought forms, and inherently disempowering. Knowledge comes from within… it emerges directly from our experience. Our sense of calling comes through in the moments that we drop our stories and open to the internal and external experience of wholeness. With these notions in mind, we can identify the thoughts that we are believing and question them. Inquiry consistently provides awareness, which facilitates the natural process of self correction, personal evolution, and the subtle process of awakening the Self. Ask, how does my client show up when they believe these thoughts? Who would my client be without these stories?
2) Understand the potency of metaphor in how we understand and organize our experiences. The way that we interpret life is a direct expression of our core material. Metaphor is one aspect of our core material, and following the way we interpret our experiences into the unknown will support us in becoming free. Ask, how is my client interpreting this experience? Wonder, is this an accurate interpretation? Where might he/she have learned to interpret experiences like this?
3) Understand that when we call forth something new, what is in the way will come to the surface. The process of effortlessly aligning with what we are choosing to call forth in our lives can be measured by our sense of internal resonance/dissonance when we speak the NOW affirmation about it. I speak the words “I allow myself to easily create a successful coaching practice.” And wait. I listen to my body, notice what needs to be noticed, breath. Any sense of dissonance in my body is a surface expression of internal mis-alignment. Following these symptoms to their roots and clearing them is an essential practice for the cultivation of internal alignment. The benefit is that we stop swimming upriver, and we let grace and ease be our guides as we step into the unknown.
4) Understand that resolution of past memories that come up is one potential tool for weeding the garden. If, in this process, an old memory comes up. Ask, how does my client interpret this memory? What is the message they received from it? What would it take for resolution and reconciliation of this memory. In our failure to integrate our experiences we disassociate, we emphasize fragmentation of our sense of self, and the cost is tremendous. We lose our flexibility between roles, we lose our playfulness and sense of freedom, and we create filters and beliefs that are later bolstered by how we interpret our experience. Fundamental to the experience of wholeness is the reconciliation of what is not true, of the memories that we hold, of the grudges that we are still, on some level, clinging to.
In our study of Carolyne Myss we learn that these incompletion still hold our creative energy, and that the freeing up of our creative energy helps us heal ourselves. Energetically we can see these old memories as cords, and the accumulation of cords can be seen as an open invitation to be influenced by the will of others. Somatically, we can see unresolved memories as tension in the body, and opportunities to free up our movement and the dis-ease that has come from our somatic contraction.
The light side of this is that when we do create resolution, we free up our creative energy, our body re-attunes to its natural ability to heal itself, and we shape and sculpt our core material; the way we organize our experience. (hakomi) This results in an opening, a dropping in to the unknown, a release of limitation, and a sense of freedom. When the client feel really open while speaking the affirmation and their body language doesn’t act up, they have cleared the weeds.
When you uncover what appears to be core material… defining interpretive mind structures… or what can also be seen as un-integrated experiences… ask yourself. What is the most direct path of reconciliation? Who could be forgiven? What needs to be said? Who should be present? Consider guiding your client through an experience of opening and accepting via a visualization, or of asking them to guide themselves through one, while you stand by patiently.
As coaches, some questions I propose that we ask ourselves are the following…
1. What does it cost our client to hang on to their past experiences?
2. What is the benefit?
3. What are the most effective tools for the reconciliation of these experiences?
4. How do we approach reconciliation of a trauma that occurred during birth?
5. How do we approach reconciliation of a trauma that occurred during the development of our rational mind?
6. How can we customize our approach to match it with the level of development the client was at when it occurred?
7. How can we become really skilled at facilitating the unwinding of false beliefs?
8. How can we become really skilled at facilitating the integrating of different personas?
9. How can we learn to facilitate learning flexibility within our roles?
10. What does the releasing of attachment have to do with this line of inquiry?
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Coaching for personal unfoldment